Bored. It's late. My dad's cutting moulding and I'd give anything to take that fucking saw and chop his head in half.
I want to sleep.
He should go to sleep. I bet he's going to cut his fucking hand off because he's so tired.
Yeah. Ugh.
I got my Deadsy back. And my Orgy music. And I have a long ways to go before I get my musical library back to its previous state last August.
I have a LONG way to go....;__;
Anywho....Yeah.
I've been feeling relatively shitty since last Monday...yeah.
Last Monday I saw Matt when we went to Chevy's for my cousin's birthday. Okay, I've liked this boy for about two years and gave up on any chance be with him because I found someone that was readily there and I felt totally unadequate. This boy is fucking perfect... Yeah. I regret that totally...I could have had this perfect boy- polite, sweet, he listens to what I have to say, and he's affectionate. I turn around in my seat and see him looking at me and it makes me want to cry. Just seeing him makes me sad. I sat there the whole time, willing myself not to cry. Usually I only cried AFTER I had seen him. I usually get over it after a few hours of wallowing and crying, but this continued for two. Whole. Days.
Yeah...Pathetic.
But anyway...
I need to vent.
I cried. HARD. From the time I left that place and he hugged me goodbye until I went to sleep at three A.M. that morning. He kills me, I swear. And he has no idea.
I catch him looking at me sometimes and I have no idea why. Disgust, maybe? I have no clue...
It's kinda sick...I don't get to see him often but I'm just totally into him. It's just totally weird..."Absence makes the heart grow fonder" is put to a whole new meaning in this situation.
He's going to be a senior this year.
This school year will end and he'll go to college...and I'll still be in high school. It might be kinda hard to work things out if anything happens, which I highly doubt.
Anyway..survey stolen from Taylor. *hugs her*
Single or Taken: Single.
Happy about it? Not when I see Matt.
Sex: Female
Siblings: None. I have an unofficial sibling,
though.
Eye color: Green.
Shoe size: 9.5 or 10
Height: Five foot eight
Innie or Outie: Innie
Where do you live: Chalmette, LA
Righty or lefty: Lefty
Can you make a dollar in change right now?: Yup. It's in that huge-ass guitar purse in the corner, I think.
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FAVORITES.
Kind of pants: Pajama pantsss
Number: thirteen or eleven.
Animal: My black lab. :D
Drink: Bubble Tea XD
Alcohol: Hmmmmm Vodka, Pina Colada, or Daiquiris.
Sport: Bowling.
Month: Anything between October and February. Halloween, Thanksgiving, back into the swing of things at school, Christmas, New Years, Birthday, and Mardi Gras. One. After. The. Other. Life is so good....
Juice: Cranberry or orange. AH! Strawberry kiwi
Favorite cartoon character: Hatsuharu
-----------------------------------------
Have You Ever....
Given anyone a bathe: a little kid
Bungee Jumped?: Nah
Made yourself throw-up? yep. It made me feel better. Bad feeling in me stomach. Eck.
Gone skinny dipping?: NOPE. ^^
Eaten a dog?: Nooo ;___;
Put your tongue on a frozen pole?: Yeah. XD 'Twas fun until after I pulled it off...
Loved someone so much it made you cry?: I don't know if I love him but I like someone so much that he makes me cry after I see him.
Broken a bone: Nope. ^^
Played truth or dare: Yeah.
been a physical fight: yep
Been in a police car: no
Been on a plane: yea
Came close to dying: Yeah. =__=
Been in a sauna: No
Been in a hot tub: No lol
Swam in the ocean: Yahh
Fallen asleep in school: Once. *not so proud of it*
Broken someone's heart?: I doubt it.
Cried when someone died: Oh, ja.
Cried in school?: Yeah.
Fell off your chair: Mhmm..Laughing so hard at Tay-chan and the whole "FAILURE!" stamp thing. XD
Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call? Yeah...Just my cell, though..And I really feel stupid for it.
Saved e-mails: yea
Made out with JUST a friend?: Never made out.
Used someone: Not that I know of.
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What is...
Your good luck charm?: A necklace I got recently. Things have been pretty good since I got it.
What's your room like: Sparse.
What is beside you?: A pillow.
Last thing you ate?: Cane's.
What kind of shampoo do you use?: Tresemme
Ever Had...
Chicken pox: No
Sore Throat: Yea
Broken nose: No
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Do You...
Believe in love at first sight: No.
Long distant relationships: Not any more.
Like school: Yeah.
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Question:
Who was the last person that called you: Dad
Who was the last person you slow danced with: Dat Tran XD At eighth grade graduation. *falls over laughing*
Who makes you smile: Funny stuff, friends, crack!conversations, people with a weird sense of humor.
Do you like filling these out: Yep ^^
Do you wear contact lenses or glasses? Both
Do you like yourself: Depends on how I'm
dressed...That's what my mood really depends on.
Do you get along with your family? Mhm.
----------------------------------------------------
Are You...
Obsessive? *sing-song voice* understatement of the centuryyy
Compulsive?: :D
Suicidal?: Same as Tay-chan. Homicidal.
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Final Questions:
What are you listening to right now?: Depeche Mode -
"Enjoy the Silence"
What did you do yesterday?: Worked.
Hated someone in your family: Let's just say I have a heavy personal vendetta against one.
Gotten any awards?: Bowling averages, Honors crap, scholarship crap, service awards, Academic Olympics, Presidential education award...blah...blah...
What car/truck do you wish u could get? PT Cruiser. XD OR A YARIS. <3
Where do you want to get married?: I don't know
yet...
Good driver?: Yeap....
Good Singer?: Depends on who's listening, I suppose.
I think I suck.
Have a lava lamp: Used to. Bright pink *cringe* WITH
GLITTER *gag*
How many remote controls are in your house?: Two. lol
Are you double jointed?: In a few of my
fingers...yeah...I know. XD Two of them on my right
hand and one on my left.
What do you dream about?: Total crack, I swear...but other times it gets bad. Caducus. I used to dream about a lot of macabre stuff...but it just gets worse progressively. *sigh*
When you last showered: This morning.
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Either/or
Scary or Funny Movies: Funny. ^^ Scary is good, but it's just not scary. XD
Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla! ^^
Rootbeer or Dr.Pepper: Dr.Pepper
Skiing or Boarding?: Boarding
Summer or winter?: Winter
Silver or Gold: Silver
Diamond or pearl: Diamond
Sprite or 7up: sprite
Coffee or tea: Coffee.
Phone or in person: in person
Are you oldest, middle, youngest: Only
Indoor or outdoor: Indoor
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-
Today did you...
1. Talk to someone you like: No...he's kinda far away
right now.
2. Buy something: No.
3. Get sick: No.
8. Talked to an ex: Not in a few months. Thank God. We've kinda excommunicated one another, actually. It's a good thing, at least for me. And definitely for him. lol He hates me. ^^ *v for victory*
9. Miss someone: Yeah.
________________________________________ ______
Last person who....
10. Slept in your bed: Dude I just got my bed two days ago. lol ME!
11. Saw/heard you cry? Me.
12. Made you cry: Matt.
13. Went to the movies with: Sheila.
14. You went to the mall with: Sheila.
15. Said "I Love You" and meant it: Today. On the phone to my mom.
________________________________________ __
16. Ever been in a fight with your pet? Play fights,
yeah. XD Dogs play by "fighting"...
17. Been to Vegas? Noo
18. Been to Mexico:Nooo
19. Been to the Bahamas: Nope
20. Been to Europe: Noppeee
________________________________________ __________
Random.....
21. Do you have a crush on someone right now?:
Yeah...And I don't think he'll know any time soon.
Where's 22,23,24? Inside my headphones playing beautiful music.
25. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: No.
26. What's under your bed: There is no "under" my bed
XD My bed is flat on the floor.
27. Favorite sports to watch: Hmm...Extreme Fighting.
That's awesome shit right there.
28. Favorite Locations: Japan. I wanna go....
29. Piercing/Tattoos: One in each year and a closed
lip ring. *sigh*
31. Who do you really hate?: My uncle. No one else.
He's the only person I'd truly wish death upon.
32. Do you have a job: Sorta.
33. Have u ever liked someone? Yeah. That's why I cry at night.
34. Have you had your first kiss? No.
35. Rock or rap? rock
36. Are you lonely right now? Yeah.
38. Song that's stuck in your head right now?: "The
Key to Gramercy Park" - Deadsy
39. Played strip poker? no
40. Have you ever gotten beat up?: No.
42. Have you ever been on radio/TV: Yeah. The whole behind-the-focus shit.
43. Have you ever been in a mosh-pit: Yeah. It made me want to hurt them all very, very badly.
Random
1. What color is your underwear right now?: Black.
2. Whats the first things you notice about the
opposite sex?: Attitude, eyes, hands, voice
3. have you drank?: Yea.
4. have you smoked? No. Don't plan on it, either.
5. Ever get so drunk you dont remember?: I don't get
drunk.
6. Hair color?: Currently brown. It might be half
black and half brown soon.
7. Are you too shy to ask someone out?: Yeah. Way
too shy.
8. Hugs or Kisses?: Hugs, I'd believe. It can be
done in public or in front of parents with no
worries. lol
9. You wear make-up?: Yeah. Very often...
10. Butter, Plain or Salted popcorn: Kettle corn. ^^
11. Dogs or cats?: Puppieesss
12. Favorite Flower? Lily. Tiger lily, actually.
13. Have you ever fired a gun?: Yeha.
14. Do you like to travel by plane as opposed to car?
Plane. I get fewer headaches.
15. How many pillows do you sleep with? 2
16. Who are you missing right now?: A few people.
17. Do you think your ex(s) or old best friends miss
you? Ex, no. Thank God. And old best friends..they've prolly forgotten me by now. My best friend currently has been my best friend for years now.